365 Days of Random

Random musings about nothing at all

Day of Memories

Today on the 10th of September a group of people gathered to remember our dear departed friend. I’ve spoken of this friend numerous times on here so don’t feel the need to rehash in any great detail. In the almost 18 months since her passing not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, generally more than once. Today her family and friends gathered to celebrate her life. It was a couple of hours of stories, memories, tears and laughter. But one thing was consistent… She was incredibly well loved.

What amazed me more than anything was the way that my BF reacted to the gathering. I met him about 5 or 6 months after my friend passed on so he never had the chance to know her. I know he would have loved her, the would have become great friends… she had that effect on people. But (ever loyal to those closest to her) she would have grilled him and never let up until she was sure that he was perfect for me. In fact, I think she’s still doing that. I think she sent him to me. Anyway.. back to the point…. my BF had never met Rash but numerous time during the service he was tearing up along with the rest of us. He said that he felt that even in those two hours something about her life and spirit touched him in a way that he did not expect. Although they’d never met I think he walked away feeling like he knew her.

Throughout the service people were invited to speak. To share stories, thoughts memories and insights into the wonderfully amazing person that was Rash. I even read my poem… and ALMOST got through the entire thing without breaking up. I would have been ok too if I hadn’t looked at her mom at just that last moment. The overwhelmingly consistent message what that Rash was an inspiration to every single person she encountered. Childhood gymnastics coaches, teachers, coworkers, friends and family all shared the same message. She was a determined, tenacious, spirited, amazing person that brought out the very best in those around her. In the short time that was her life she touched the lives of so many others. She left a piece of her behind in all of us and that’s how we can be certain that she will NEVER truly be gone. She taught each of us how to be a better person and she did it in a way that you didn’t even realize what was happening. She got inside your heart and stayed put. She was the most caring and compassionate person I’ve ever met. Her smile (which was a constant fixture on her face) lit up the room and brightened even the gloomiest of times.

Before I sign off tonight I’d like to share a couple of my favorite memories of Rash. I met Rash about 3 years ago and we became instant best friends. Rash was hearing impaired. She could read lips and speak and once you took the time to listen to her she was perfectly easy to communicate with. But her lip reading skills came in handy for entertainment purposes more than once. There were numerous occasions where we’d be out enjoying a drink, or lunch, or just chilling on some patio and she would tell us what was going on at every table around us. It was a most entertaining way to enhance your people watching excursions. She always caught the juiciest bits of whatever was going on around her. She never missed a beat. My other favorite memory of Rash was our weekly TV dates. She’d text me about 8:45pm telling me she was home and ready and I’d get online. We’d watch Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice ‘together’ chatting on IM the entire time. If one of us was gong to miss the show we’d both record it and make plans to watch another day. While it may seem like such a simple thing it was an amazing way to share time with a friend that I just didn’t get to see as often as I’d have liked. While we talked almost every day (over IM or text of BBM) I looked forward to our girls night TV every week.

We’d been friends for such a short time when she was taken from this world, but she was a friend like no other. She’s someone who will be in my heart for the rest of my life. I am very very grateful for the love and friendship we shared and for the people that her passing brought into my life as well. And even though they never met, I am incredibly thankful that my BF was given a chance to know her in some small way too… it just proves that she’s out there still watching out for her family and making sure that everyone knows it.


September 10, 2011 Posted by | Faith, Inspiration, Life | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Time Flies

Today is my parents wedding anniversary. They’ve been married for 37 years today. By today’s standards that’s a really long time. They have three children (me and my two sisters – one older and one younger) and one grandson. Growing up they were an amazing example of how a REAL marriage works. They love each other dearly but their life together has not been without it’s challenges…. who’s is??? What I give them huge props for is for working through all the challenges they’ve faced as a team. 37 years ago they committed their lives to each other – in good times and bad and all that good stuff. And they’ve seen it all. Yet here they stand still together and still happy and still very much in love. I’ve known all my life (even with how much they get on each others nerves) that they were a perfect match. They rely on each other way more than either one of them actually realizes.

What truly astounds me though is that when I think about 37 years… I think about that being a really long time. But in reality, I have a feeling that for them it’s passed in the blink of an eye. I have a feeling they look back on the day they were married and think wow… that wasn’t all that long ago. And really… it wasn’t all that long ago.

As I get older I’ve started to realize that time actually seems to speed up. This year I turned 32. This year will mark the 5th anniversary of moving to DC and starting my job and life here. But I can’t for the life of me figure out where all the time went. I still feel like I’m 27 getting ready to make the biggest decision of my life and move really far away from everything I know and everyone I love and truly break out on my own. I honestly can’t believe that was 5 years ago. Every year feels like it goes a little faster. Logically I know that it’s all the same… time really passes at the same rate every day and every month and every year. But our PERCEPTION of time can be drastically altered by the things going on in our lives…

When we were kids it seemed like it was taking ages to hit those major milestones… like becoming a teenager, starting highschool, learning to drive, falling in love… as we get older I think we take a lot of that anticipation and waiting for granted. We really want things to SLOW down and yet our perception is that things are speeding up. Suddenly you’re 30 or have a couple of kids and you don’t even know where all the time went. It’s like you blinked and suddenly your life changed. And somehow, in the middle of all this we start to feel like we don’t have the TIME to do all the things we said we were going to do before we ‘got old’.

We all know what it’s like to have had one of “those days” where the day seems to drag on forever and you think you’re never going to get to go home. Then at the end of the week you’re not done with all the things on your to-do list and you wonder where the time went. At the end of a year you look back on all the things that happened… how LONG the year was and how many intense things happened…and yet you’re stunned to realize it’s been a year since you saw that friend or took that vacation or made that big decision.

Here’s the thing… TIME hasn’t changed… time is always the same. But we get so caught up in all the minuscule moments in our lives, in all the things that don’t really matter as much in the long run that we miss out on those big moments. We need to MAKE the time for the things that really matter. We need to be consciously aware of living our lives to the best of our abilities and not taking anything for granted. Noone knows how much time they really have… so we shouldn’t waste a minute of it.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about today as I think back on the 37 years of my parents marriage. They definitely taught us to live our lives and not take things for granted. They made sure that we knew how to do that. But, somedays I wonder if they remembered to do that for themselves too. To live their lives they way they dreamed them. To do all the things they wanted to do. They’ve had 37 years of building a beautiful family and home and partnership with each other. I’d like to see them take the next 37 years to enjoy every single minute with each other and make the time – for whatever they want.

May 25, 2011 Posted by | Life | , , , | Leave a comment